How to Get Mustache to Lay Flat: Tame the Beast

Learn how to tame your wild mustache and make it lay flat in no time!

Taming that unruly mustache got you tangled in knots? Fret not, my follicly-frazzled friend! Dive into these easy-peasy steps and turn that wily whisker beast into a sleek, suave statement. From patience and precision to oils, balms, and the magical touch of wax, every detail you need is just a whisker away.

Key takeaways:

  • Let It Grow: Patience is key for a full mustache.
  • Wash Sparingly: Clean every few days to avoid dryness.
  • Oil, Balm, Comb: Essential for taming the wild beast.
  • Precision Trim: Sculpt, don’t mow, for symmetry.
  • Wax and Style: Use sparingly, style for fun looks.

Step 1: Let It Grow

step 1 let it grow

Patience, my friend. The mustache you desire needs time to flourish. Going full Hulk Hogan doesn’t happen overnight. You need to let those whiskers grow wild and free before taming them.

First, resist the urge to trim. It might itch, tickle, or resemble a sad caterpillar at times, but bear with it.

Secondly, feed your hair from the inside. A healthy diet rich in proteins and vitamins will speed things up. Think of it as giving your mustache the VIP treatment.

Lastly, hands off. Playing with your mustache all the time disrupts its growth. Let it breathe. Let it shine. Let it live its best life.

Step 2: Wash Every Couple of Days

Mustache hygiene is crucial. Overdoing washes can strip natural oils and leave your mustache feeling like a bristle brush. Every couple of days is your sweet spot.

Use a mild facial cleanser. No need to dive into your girlfriend’s exotic haircare routine. Gentle does it. Rinse thoroughly. Soap suds left behind? Not stylish.

Follow up with a dab of conditioner. Yes, conditioner. It softens those unruly whiskers, making them more manageable. Pat dry, no aggressive towel rubs. The mustache deserves better treatment!

Stick to this simple routine, and your mustache will thank you with glorious, manageable tresses.

Step 3: Oil, Balm and Comb Daily

Essential oils and balms are your mustache’s best friends. They help tame the wild beast!

Opt for a quality beard oil. Massage it in to provide essential nutrients, making the hairs smoother and more manageable. A good balm goes a step further with its thicker consistency, adding structure and control.

Don’t underestimate the value of a solid comb. Use it to distribute the product evenly and train those stubborn hairs to lie flat. Combing daily untangles knots and encourages growth in the right direction.

Remember, a little extra attention and a few minutes each day can turn a bushy rebellion into a sleek statement.

Step 4: Trim

Let’s be real, a mustache can get wild. Trimming keeps things in check. Less is more, though; you’re sculpting, not mowing the lawn!

First, get yourself a fine pair of mustache scissors. Precision is key. Snip a little bit at a time, focusing on symmetry.

Use a small comb to lift the hairs. Trim those that hang over the lip or poke out in odd directions. It’s like giving your ‘stache a little haircut.

Check in the mirror frequently. Nothing worse than a lopsided mustache when you thought you nailed it.

For a final touch-up, use a trimmer for any stragglers. This is your Mona Lisa, treat it like art.

Step 5: Wax and Style

Grab your mustache wax, folks. Start with a small amount, think pea-sized or even smaller. Rub it between your fingers until it warms up and becomes more pliable.

Apply the wax to your mustache, working it through from the middle outward. Use a mustache comb or your fingers to shape and smooth those rebellious hairs. Less is more; you can always add a bit more wax if needed.

For styling, go classic or wild. Twirl the ends for handlebars or smooth it down for a more subtle look. Remember, your mustache is your canvas, have fun with it. And no, licking it won’t make it stay in place. Save that for the ice cream.

Picking the Right Comb

Think of your mustache comb as your tiny sidekick. Not all combs are created equal, so choose wisely. Opt for a fine-toothed comb for better control. Plastic combs can snag—avoid them like the last slice of pizza at a party.

Wooden or metal combs? Now we’re talking! Wooden combs are gentle and reduce static, plus they look pretty cool. Metal combs are durable and easy to clean. Both glide through your whiskers like a dream.

Size matters! A small comb fits snugly in any pocket, making touch-ups on-the-go a breeze. Versatility is key. Some combs even double as bottle openers. Is that useful? Absolutely. Stylish mustache and a cold drink? Yes, please.

Regular Trimming

Keep those scissors handy, because regular trimming is the unsung hero in the battle against unruly mustaches. Uneven growth can make your mustache look like it just rolled out of bed, and not in a cute, tousled-hair way.

First, invest in a quality pair of mustache scissors—no, kitchen shears won’t cut it. Trim the edges and shape as needed. Less is more here; nibble at it like a cautious squirrel, don’t hack at it like you’re trimming the hedge.

Always trim when your mustache is dry. Wet hair lies, making you think it’s longer than it really is. You don’t want post-shower regret staring back at you in the mirror.

Comb through your mustache again post-trim to catch any strays you missed initially. Voilà! That baby should be looking sharp and ready to lay flat.

Remember, regular trims prevent split ends, which can make your mustache frizzy and unmanageable. Keep it neat, and it’ll behave better.